Week Four - An Anam Cara in Ahamkara, Befriending the Ego

Hello everyone,

We are already in our final week of the term! This Sunday March 29th will be our last practice before we take a two week break for Easter - and will be the long-awaited day when the clocks go forward and we gain an extra hour of sunlight in the evenings! Woohoo! Please expect a gentle light hearted yoga practice in both classes this week, where we will invite sunshine and some clarity, exhale for a little longer than usual, and play with our balance, mobility, and strength. 

The theme this week is the Ahamkara, the ego. The final piece in our study of the Antahkarana - the four faculties of the mind. Please continue reading this letter to take note of the new yoga term dates in April and also if you're curious about how the ego is considered in yoga tradition :) But do know that reading about the philosophy theme is not at all necessary if you'd like to simply attend yoga this week and move your body :) 

Please let me know if you'd like to book a space in this Sunday's Hatha at 5pm or Soft Stretch practice at 6:30pm in Thrive. It will be our last few classes for a little while, so I would absolutely love to see you there!

*Our new yoga term dates will be April 19th - May 17th; a five week Sunday term with a theme of the bandhas, neuromuscular engagements for smoother alignment and transitions on and off the yoga mat. Hatha Flow and Soft Stretch class options, 5pm and 6:30pm. Please send me a little message here if you'd like to put your name down for the new term - it really helps me to get a sense of numbers :) 

Okay! Our theme! So far this month we have looked at Manas - the everyday mind; Buddhi - the wise mind; Chitta, the subconscious mind/memory store. Now we come to the dreaded Ahamkara - the ego mind. 

I say 'dreaded' because the following concepts are usually the last thing your own ahamkara wants to read: that it may not be the true centre of your story. The hero, heroine, villain, damsel - whoever it is, ego likes to be the main character. The ahamkara is probably who you think of as you. It is the argumentative, convincing, sometimes soothing voice in your head that keeps you separate from all those around you. Ahamkara is the 'I am' part of your psyche - the 'this is who I am and this is what I believe' sense of your personal identification. Many shoulders will roll up to ears with tension, eyes might even roll up to the ceiling with irritation, to consider that - according to yoga and new age philosophy - who you know yourself to be is a false self, and the real you is far deeper and less complicated. 

But lets soften it. I am certainly not an enlightened being! Transcending the ego, as in your self identification, is not really a realistic goal for most; and spiritual bypassing is a dangerous thing in our world. In essence, yoga teaches us that any attachment to form creates some sort of suffering. This is because form inevitably fades away - we know that. There is loss and grief built into the system. Our bodies are aging as we speak. The whole point of yoga practice is to try and find ways to make this natural suffering easier to handle, so that you can feel more at peace in your mind and body. The psyche, with all of its many beautiful parts, is considered to be a distilled manifestation of nature (prakriti), and therefore a subtle form in it's own way - something that can be witnessed, and that can be altered. Identification with the mind leads to the deepest suffering, and is considered the primary misunderstanding (avidya) and root klesha in yoga - the biggest obstacle to peace. Why do we make wars? One country wants something that the other country has... one group of people believe something that the other group of people do not. It is always an us v.s them situation. A dangerous belief that I am separate from you, and I am right. 

Yogis believed that real truth; as in universal consciousness, the divine self - purusha - is unchanging and everlasting in nature. It cannot be witnessed because it is the witnesser. It cannot be changed because it is formless. It can never be separate. 

Some cool facts that we know from psychics: energy is never created or destroyed, it simply moves around - and everything is energy.

Interesting?!

Taking it back to the ahamkara (ego) in a more practical sense - as in, less death and wars, more you and me in our day to day - I can't help but play with the Celtic phrase 'anam cara', which means soul friend in Irish. I think it sounds so similar to this yogic word ahamkara, the ego.

Ahamkara. Anamcara. 

Do they not look and sound exactly the same?! 

The concept of the Irish phrase anam cara, made popular by the poet John O Donohue with his book of the same name (Anam Cara; Spiritual Wisdom from the Celtic World), is that you may have or find someone in your life who is a friend in the deepest sense. Your bond surpasses the one felt by your psyche, your mind, even by your heart - it is a bond of the spirit. This person becomes your anam cara, your soulmate. 

Now, maybe this is a stretch. But Celtic Gaelic is an Indo-European language, and therefore a not so distant cousin of the Sanskrit language. For example, the Gaelic word for soul is Anam, the Sanskrit is Atman. If the Sanskirt word for ego is ahamkara, and the Celtic word for soulmate is anam cara, could there a connection here? Despite being two polar opposite concepts? 

I wonder if combining the two meanings of these phrases could make up part of an answer. What if we could learn to not only recognise our ego as a false sense of ourself, which is the traditional yogi way, but at the same time consider this false self as our anam cara. A friend to who we really are - not the enemy! True self-compassion; a relationship of balance, respect, and love with ourself. Rather than trying to transcend your ego; rather than point at it with blame for all it has put you through, you befriend it. You recognise it for what it is, observe it, and soften the edges around it with love and compassion. For reference, when you feel yourself separating yourself from others; you are in the seat of ego.

Nothing has had a more positive effect on my personal life than this - self love. Not as an act of narcissism, but as a steady loving awareness and gentle support for my experiences. All is well. Thich Nhat Hanh offered the most beautiful mantra when he said to observe your suffering whenever it arises and speak to it like this: hello suffering, I will take such good care of you.

Anyway, these are my morning Thursday thoughts! How to be your own anam cara. Thank you so much for reading and being here with me. I hope to see you on Sunday, or in the near future, for some yoga :)

“If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”

by John O Donohue 

from Anam Cara: a Book of Celtic Wisdom.

Le grá,

Macha